Reverence for one’s parents is deeply embedded in Indian families. Children deem it their moral duty to look after their aged parents and elders. In the last few decades, our society has undergone massive transformation in terms of family structure. As a consequence of the social transformation and evolving lifestyles, many of the older parents are landing in old age homes. The mushrooming of nuclear families, especially in urban India, has led to a steady increase in the number of old age homes.
Reasons for increasing number of old age homes:
• Cultural Change- Over three decades ago, the thought of parents being sent to the old age homes was not easily accepted in our country due to traditional mind-set and cultural ethos. The most obvious reason for this increasing trend is the migration of children from their hometowns to metropolitan cities in search of better education, jobs, and improved lifestyles. While the younger generation has no difficulty in moving out of their parental homes and adapting to new lifestyles, the elderly population choose to remain back due to the attached sentiments of the place. Hence, during old age, these parents usually end up in old age homes as there is nobody to take care of them.
• Longer Lifespan and emerging diseases- Many children cannot take care of their aged parents with chronic health issues. Most of the aged parents who are brought in to the homes are over 65 years old and are bedridden. With advancing age, people often lose motor functions. Performing day to day activities becomes a daunting task. In an old age home, the association helps with daily activities. Since old age homes are for senior citizens, doctors are always at hand and emergency services are available 24*7. In case of a medical emergency, it is important to have a person who can take care of hospitalisation.
• Emotional separation- Some parents themselves want to live in old age homes rather than living with their children. This is because they are facing problems like lack of care, emotional support, and financial support from their children. The children are not willing to take care of their parents, they do not want to spend money on them, parents are being treated as outsiders or as a burden on the family. This is because of fast life, industrialization, money-oriented mindset, etc. Children have no time to look after their parents because of their busy schedules and as a consequence of this, elders are being neglected and are being sent to old age homes.
• Friendships- One of the factors that make old age homes attractive to elders is companionship. They are in constant company of the people their own age. If their children are away from home, they have to live alone and that can cause stress and depression. Loneliness is an issue as well. Also, some elders find it difficult to cope with their daughters-in-law and grandchildren, due to difference in values and mindset. Hence, it is difficult for them to find someone to share their feelings and emotions. Companionship is paramount, especially for those who have lost their spouses.
• Increasing Crime in Cities- Safety is definitely an issue for senior citizens. Aged parents are often left alone while their children go abroad to live and work. So, the next logical step for them is to put an old father or mother in an old age home. The steady security in an old age home gives them protection from intruders, and helps them live a safe and secure life.
• Previously Ignored Psychological Issues- In some cases, the children replicate the behaviour of their parents or do not wish to be associated with abusive/ extremely strict/absent parents: a problem of our society that is associated with childhood trauma, depression, and horrors prevailing in certain families, which is swept under the rug in the name of respect and honour. This also leads to many people ending up in old age homes. It is huge problem that should be properly addressed in our country to prevent mental health issues and crimes (in few cases) in the long run.
The silver lining is that not all children in India are putting their parents in old age homes. Many working children are trying hard to look after their parents in their own homes. They are hiring nurses to take care of their older parents in the cities while they are at work. Some others have made security arrangements for the elderly, like installing the CCTV cameras to watch over them while they are at work. In some cases, when the children themselves turn old and cannot take care of their own aged parents, only then they are put into old age homes. For such cases, it should be the prerogative of the government to build shelter homes for the senior citizens and also take care of them. Otherwise, children should strive to help their parents live happily, in peace, and preferably in the place where they have always lived- their own homes.